Have you noticed the insane amount of god awful perfume ads on the box.
I haven’t got a scooby-doo what any of them are on about.
Have you seen that Dolce and Gabbana one?!
The one with Mathew McDougal and Scarlett Johno-Johnasson?
What the hell does it mean?
McDougal – “We never needed anything back then”
Johno-Johnasson – “We needed everything back then”
McDougal -“If we could go back, would we?
Johno-Johnasson – “If we did, could we make it stick?”
McDougal -“Y’know what? We should go back.”
Johno-Johnasson -“Yes, we should.”
McDougal -“See, that’s all you needed to say.”
Did Mr Cantona write that script?
Me thinks they’re trying to be a bit too sophisticated!
I remember when they used to keep it simple.
A bit o Brut slappy chop chops, was all that was needed.
Or Old Spice – “The Mark Of A Man!”
Burnt your face off mind and smelt like toilet cleaner, but if It’ll make me a man, on it bloody well goes!
I did get a bit fancy pants in my younger years with the ‘eau da toilet’.
Bit of CK, Joop or a touch of Davidoff.
Even used to wear the fancy stuff when I worked in a Pork Pie factory doing night shifts (more on this tomorrow).
You’d smell me coming a mile off.
Thankfully these days have past, but not everyone has grown out of it.
Some people (men and women) like to get the slappy chop chops on before having a workout.
I remember a mate of my mine spraying on a bit of Issey Miyake before paint balling?
This was about 8 years ago and he still gets stick for it now.
So, let’s sort this out once and for all.
You do NOT need to wear perfume (or Old Spice) if you’re exercising.
What you SHOULD be doing is sweating your ass off.
Just remember, exercise and smelling of roses does not equal great results.
Save the fancy stuff for your nights on the town.
Au revoir mon amie,
Gavin “Perfume Expert” Walsh
P.S. I’ll be running several Fitness Retreats in 2014, give me a shout if you’d like to know more about these :)