By: Craig Ballantyne, CTT
Certified Turbulence Trainer
This is a letter from your ol’ pal, belly fat. We had a great run this summer, didn’t we? Lots of good times, great food, and plain ol’ sitting around eating too much.
Well, I’m thinking about sticking around another year if you don’t mind. But you might need to get a bigger pair of pants, as I was thinking about expanding my place down here.
So do me a favor, avoid that interval training you were thinking of doing. The last time you did that stuff, I nearly had to look for a new place to live. I felt like the Wicked Witch of the West in the land of Oz. Did you hear me yelling, “Help me, I’m melting!”?
Instead, stick to that slow cardio stuff. Sure I get a little sweaty, and the ol’ brain up there thinks it’s doing “a real fat burning workout”, but it’s never enough to melt me outta here.
Another thing, keep listening to those experts who say resistance training doesn’t burn body fat. Since research shows they’re wrong, if you added strength training to your program, you’d practically need to throw me a going away party!
After each one of those superset workouts you tried last January it felt like someone lit a match under our collective butt. I was burning up down here!
But boy oh boy, I sure was glad you gave that up and went back to just lifting utensils and not dumbells. Otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to celebrate another summer together this year.
Sometimes I wonder, what did you ever do in college without me, your trusted belly fat? Back then, you were probably one of those people that couldn’t wait to get to the beach to show off your body, not like these days.
Nope, stay in the shade and keep the baggy clothes on, that’s the way to go now. Besides, its a lot closer to the cold beer and the BBQ when you’re sitting in the shade avoiding all the fun down on the beach.
Well, it sure was good catching up with you. I’m sure we’ll be in touch more often, as long as you stay away from any of those effective workout routines.
Brings a tear to my eye whenever I even think about that workout program and all the belly fat it’s burned. Heck, it’s fried more belly fat than a frying pan!
So again, if you want to keep your dear old belly around for another year and another summer, don’t use resistance training or any of those interval workouts – otherwise, its all over pal, and you’ll never see me again.
Belly Fat says, “Don’t use this”
Your friend and spare tyre,
PS – Seriously, don’t go near that Turbulence Training program unless you want to see me, Thunder Thighs, Manboobs, Jigg Lee Arm Fat, and Luv Handles pack our bags and hit the highway.
It will be a sad farewell, and you’d be stuck with ripped abs, gorgeous glutes, and toned arms, and you know how much attention those guys get from the opposite sex. Who needs it, I say.
About the Author
Craig Ballantyne is a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist and writes for Men’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Maximum Fitness, Muscle and Fitness Hers, and Oxygen magazines. His trademarked Turbulence Training fat loss workouts have been featured multiple times in Men’s Fitness and Maximum Fitness magazines, and have helped thousands of men and women around the world lose fat, gain muscle, and get lean in less than 45 minutes three times per week. For more information on the Turbulence Training workouts that will help you burn fat without long, slow cardio sessions or fancy equipment, visit www.TurbulenceTraining.com