Got a text from my best mate this morning.
It read something along the lines of…
“I don’t know if the benefits of starting a new relationship are worth the pain and torture of having to hold in farts and shits. It was agony last night!”
Let me fill you in…
Our young Jedi, “Luke”, has just started seeing a new lady friend. But…
He’s got a serious problem…
They’re still in those early stages when you’re not completely comfortable with each other.
Y’ know what I’m on about, right?
Where you have to pretend that you’ve never let one off or been to the toilet ever before in your life!
It’s some sort of unwritten rule amongst new couples…
“Thou shall not trump in front of thy newly romantic partner for at least 6 weeks.”
Not ideal, especially as Luke slept around hers last night and the non-sound proofed bathroom is right next to the bedroom.
Anyway, it got to about 3am in the morning when our young Jedi couldn’t hold it any longer…
The old rumbly in the tumbly was giving him too much jip. So…
Rather than going for the risky option of sneaking one out in bed, he opted for the safer bathroom option.
With the taps turned on (for noise cancellation) and core muscles at the ready, he let out an almighty…sigh of relief and then quietly got back in bed, with his lady friend non the wiser :)
Good thing that Luke has got strong core muscles and able to hold back the windy pops, otherwise he might have broken the unwritten rule and been given his marching orders.
Now…
If you’re facing a similar problem to Luke and your core muscles aren’t up to scratch, then I suggest you try this core workout below:
Use The Core Luke
- 50 bicycle crunches
- 15 press-ups
- 1 minute forearm plank
- 30 secs forearm side plank
- 1 minute bridge (lay on your back with your hips up off the ground)
- 15 press-ups
- 1 minute forearm plank
- 30 seconds forearm side plank
- 50 bicycle crunches
- 60 seconds high plank (on hands)
- 2 minutes bridge
- 50 bicycle crunches
If your technique starts to go out of the window make sure you take a rest for a moment before carrying on.
Strengthen up that core and you’ll be able to hold the windy pops in all night long.
May the core be strong!
P.S. You’ll be pleased to hear that things are still going well for Luke and his new lady friend :)
